How You TOO Can Get Into And Enjoy Reading Comics: Encyclopedia Comica

For the final hard bit, and quite possibly one of the most damning.

How to Get Into Comic Book Reading

Don't be Stupid and Lazy

Does this seem familiar to you?  Judging by the sheer amount of responses I get when the question "Why don't you read comics?" is posited, there's a good chance you have made these faces before when contemplating getting into comic books.

Most comic books (particularly of the superhero variety) are beyond packed with an extremely extensive history which may extend back as far as 60 years or more in some cases.  Now if you're Marvel, you count everything which isn't stated to be retconned.  If you're other comic universes, you reset every once in the while and sometimes keep the old continuity in line when wanted in completely confusing ways.  What problems does this create?  Shit tons of problems, because now newer readers have no freaking clue where to start.  I hear this often.  While the whole "where to start" can be solved with, "Pretty much any arc," it's hard to justify when you say 12's a great jumping point for Blue Beetle because it deals with Jaime's discovering he's part of an alien conspiracy and his source of power is an alien source.  New readers will wonder just what the hell's been going on, why he's the third Blue Beetle and just figured this out, and maybe why the second Blue Beetle didn't have this power.  See, long histories create snarls of continuity which become extremely hard to follow.

Don't fret.  Because while continuity is important, it's not exactly all -that- important.  Why? Simple.  Continuity is subject to prevailing sales of story lines.  For instance, let's say Iron Man originally had his origins in the Vietnam War, but that dates him.  Simple solution, retcon it to a more recent or even just simply vague conflict.  That's a soft retcon.  A hard retcon would be like resetting an entire universe after Tony was manipulated by Immortus to be a bad guy, was replaced by an alternate universe teenage version, shunted to an alternate dimension after a conflict, and then brought back as good ol' Tony Stark from a series of storylines nobody has to remember.  If you were a brand new comic reader, would you think that's extremely important to anything which has been going on recently?  (I'll give you Onslaught given AXIS, but none of the rest before or after matters).  The answer is no, because it doesn't.  What about when Spidey doubled his strength, got stingers and organic web shooters as part of The Other storyline?  Retconned out with Brand New Day.  And that's just the retcons you can forget about.  What about Stark Solutions?  One of the failed companies Stark started?  Remember his rehab armor from one of his several stints of questioning whether or not he should be Iron Man?  How about when his armor was so poorly shielded it tried to kill him?  None of these were retconned, and yet none of them matter.  Some of their plot points might matter, such as Stark's alcoholism, his Armor Wars, the Ultron Iron Man, etc., but for the most part nothing really does after a while.  Remember when Rhodey was Iron Man, or when Rhodey was a big ol' cyborg, or when Rhodey wore the Eidolon War Wear which was lost in time?  Remember when Guy Gardner lost his ability to use a Green Lantern ring, but it turned out he was half alien and could make weapons all Random style, but lost that power?  Nobody else really does, nor really wanted to remember.  Anybody remember when Cyborg when full robot and blah blah blah? That sort of stuff doesn't matter, and worrying about knowing all of that gets in the way.

"Mak, if what you're telling me is true then I don't need to know anything about the characters?"  Yes and no.

It's helpful to know their origins, because origins have a tendency to come up time and again with revelations and the like.  The important thing is to just know the basics, because the rest will come and go as needed.  Just pick up in any old story line, especially one that is marked "Bold new direction!" or a new #1 that comic companies are just oh so happy to slap on comics because they like fucking with and confusing fans.  The thing is, as you read these comics you'll realize they're supposed to be unfolding new tales for the character, and when something is referential you can either look it up online or then go and specifically search for stories concerning this event.  Such as the character of Hush.  If Hush comes up and everybody is all "Oh no!  It's Hush!  Batman's long lost friend, blah blah blah!" If you're so interested, you'd go look up Batman: Hush and just enjoy it that way.  

Comics don't necessarily need to be all read at once, and I find this mindset is common with new fans and particularly with manga fans who sometimes feel a whole series needs to be read.  I'm not joking, in some of my "travels" I've witnessed veteran manga readers not wish to start ongoing series because they have like 800 chapters in the story to read.  And while mangas tend to have a slightly more integrated and needed story, most of it doesn't matter.  I'd almost hazard none of it really does.  In fact, Bleach is more enjoyable when you read it arc by arc and assume they're all stand alone as opposed to one story Aeon Flux style.  One Piece sort of matters, but not so much you'd feel stymied picking it up after the timeskip if you simply knew Luffy lost his brother and everybody got their asses kicked.  The story does well with catching people back up.  Naruto completely betrays it's earlier stuff and you can easily not care what the first half was about beyond the basics.  That's just how comics in general are (manga are comics, just Japanese comics).

So here's the bottom line for new comic reading:  Just pick a character you think you might enjoy.  Like light hearted fare?  Pick up Superman.  Like Batman?  Self explanatory.  And if you get confused along the way, consult the internet and look for back issues when that comes up.  Don't pull your hair out thinking you'll need to know everything.  

You can have all of these, and still have nowhere near enough X-Men to know everything about the X-Men

How You TOO Can Get Into And Enjoy Reading Comics: NERD!!! NERD, NERD, NEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!!!

Two down, two to go.  This one I'm not so comfortable with because it's actually a pretty complex topic I cannot do justice to here.  But I'll say what I can.

How To Get Into Comic Book Reading

 You are such a nerd, and I don't mean it in a good way

In a day and age where some people equate being a "nerd" is "cool" and "trendy," and even valued in some places, it strikes me as odd when people really don't want to be identified as one by their peers. People go to their workplaces and schools and talk about how awesome Guardians of the Galaxy was, and how they saw it a couple times and bought the DVD, but when people make mention of reading the comics?  Well, they've crossed some invisible line that separates okay and weird.  There are excuses, and the work environment might determine this like if you're a cute girl into cute anime/comic characters and adorn your desk at a video game company as compared to a tiny guy like me at a healthcare company who puts up comic themed posters and sometimes wears comic shirts and sometimes is made fun of.  The gender doesn't matter, but the images help when determining which environment is more accepting.  And before you say "Mak, but it sounds like your environment doesn't value that sort of thing at all," that's untrue, and that still wouldn't influence the people around me even if it were.  It's a cultural thing.  Either way.

When I was but a wee lad of my early 20's, I'd hang out with some friends at my local comic shop.  Well, more like fellow travelers also there to pick up comic books on comic release day, we didn't hang out outside of this particular location.  One time, one guy said it was sort of nice to go to a comic shop that was slightly off the beaten path because nobody would really see him and therefore nobody would make fun of him, going on to further say he never really gave comics a chance until his son showed an interest in them because he always felt they were for "nerds." 

A small aside, I don't think comic books are for nerds or geeks or trend setters or whatever.  I think they're for everybody.  Everybody should be able to enjoy comics, and comics anymore don't seem to cater to anything but the dollar so it's not like major companies even really try to appeal to any particular niche crowd outside of those who might enjoy comics.  So... anybody again.  It's not like you have certain "enjoyment" qualifications you need to make before you have achieved your nerd certificate.  Back to the deal.

I felt bad for the guy because one he was still "in the locker" as I've heard before, but because he spent a large part of his life not even trying something because he didn't want to be made fun of.  And whether you think you're thick skinned or not, nobody actually enjoys being bullied/made fun of/laughed at/whatever.  Nobody does.  Let's say you go to work tomorrow you big tough guy and some of your coworkers bash you for your decidedly poor taste in sports team wear.  Now, that's a different sort of rivalry normally, but I mean outright make bad fun of you.  Not the, "Ha ha, your team sucks," as much as, "Your team sucks, and by extension you must be the product of your mom fucking a pig to get an outcome as shit as you are if you like that team."  Now clearly this rarely doesn't happen to this extent, but this is something potential fans of comics fear.  And it's a valid fear.  These people, already afraid of being the victim of this, have seen it in fellow coworkers.  Ever have a friend who's a little too much into Breaking Bad or Bones or some other "it" show like Big Bang Theory?  They sometimes are made fun of.  Why?  Because sometimes people just like making fun of other people, and the less socially acceptable makes it more likely to be made fun of or teased.  Or maybe it stems from being made fun of in high school and they want to avoid it.  Maybe.

Big Bang Theory.  Another thing I did sort of want to address, but not fully on this post.  Oh, get off it.  You know what I'm going to say, and while I'm not going to out and out say it's a bad thing, it does deter people in a separate way.  TBBT is a show built up of stereotypes, and while not as bad it is to "nerds" as black people to a show about other black people who live on welfare, are illiterate, can't control themselves sexually, are lazy, and are violent criminals.  Like I said, not an apples to apples comparison, but a similar idea.  The reason you don't see this fictional black show and you do see TBBT theory is because making fun of "nerds" is still an okay thing to do.  Now, I'm not calling for some revolution where nerds are placed in some sort of civil rights deal like sexual orientation, race, and religion finds footing, but keep in mind this is what people fear.  People watch TBBT and think that's what nerds might be and potentially what they might become, despite the fact pretty much everybody knows nerds aren't exactly that way.  People still don't want to be associated with a "Raj" or even worse be considered a "Raj" (a topic for another day in how that's ridiculous).  I have been asked whether I'm a Leonard or a Sheldon to which I usually reply I'm an Irwin Schwab and we all have a laugh when they have no clue what I'm talking about.  Why?  Because comic fans rarely are like TBBT cast.  Nobody is.  Go to your local comic shop (with your safari equipment) and actually look at these people.  Talk to them.  If you've ever even seen a comic convention on the news you realize they look like people who traverse fairs and Disneyland and restaurants.  They behave like everyday people.  Why?  Because they ARE everyday people.  And this stigma that they'll be treated like idiots on a television show or be equated to them drives people away from even trying this sort of thing out.  Nobody wants to be equated to that (unless you mean the actors, in which case I would because they're RICH).

The truth is you'll be made fun of for anything because people just make fun of others with varying degrees of acceptance (again, there are certain cultures you cannot do this to because that's crap).  So long as you continue to play life as normal while enjoying comics this will eventually go away. 

Now if you go to your job or school and cry from the rooftops about the revival of your very soul after reading a few comics, you're going to get made fun of for being a raving lunatic.  That's a different story.

How You TOO Can Get Into And Enjoy Reading Comics: Content, I No Want!

Gonna try to tackle all four today.  Wish me luck!

How to Get Into Comic Book Reading

I'm Not Really A Fan Of Superheroes

 

I've heard this complaint before as well.  People may like the Captain America, Batman, Superman, etc. movies, but they're not actually fans of superheroes, and so reading comics is out of the question.  This is a point which makes quite a bit of sense to me.  Batman Begins had all the tightly well crafted tale of an urban vigilante without all the tie ups of Robins, Batgirls, Apokoliptian minions, magic, aliens, etc.  It was something of a vigilante tale wrapped up in superhero garb.  Avengers appealed because of a limited tale which garnered good will via multiple smaller movies leading into one big one.  However, the story of Spider-Man having to run in fear because the mystic totem hunting Morlun is coming after him, or the story of a man who can change himself into any chemical chain, or the story of space conqueror whoever fighting earth heroes assembled into teams seems weird or something unappealing.

I find it a tad odd because people read science fiction novels, follow heavy handed drama of forensic scientists, read horribly written vampire fantasy, or even love stories about boys who grow up in magical boarding schools.  If those were on paper shared with pictures though?  Forget it.  Because all of those stories have very superhero ideas.  The genius and socially incapable detective who is just lovable enough in Bones has several parallels with Batman if Bones was merged her FBI husband and decided to wear a cowl.  Harry Potter is a chosen one in a universe filled with people who specialize in certain magics who bands with others to try and stop an oncoming darkness which reflects himself as he also struggles with the dilemma, sort of like any superhero story in recent memory dealing with the Avengers, or the Justice League, or really any hero team. And I won't lie, these are something of a stretch because Batman does have romance and drama stories, but they're not exactly as dripping thick as a Bones episode (which is a good thing), and Harry Potter was beyond tightly written story filled with adventure that didn't involve bright colors outside of wand battling as opposed to beam vision and fist killing.

This I actually get.  The idea of superheroes can seem very childish to many people.  Lacking in maturity, culture, taste, growth, context, etc.  It's why people don't go about watching shows about Sesame Street after the age of 8 or whatever.  It is a stigma which will be covered in the next article, but it's one that crosses over into how people straight up won't give them a chance.  This isn't about how people view readers as much as how people view the characters.  People see them as boring, one dimensional, bleh sort of endeavors.  Who cares that Superman punched that meteor out of the sky, doesn't he do it twice a week?  Yawn.  Another alien invasion.  Geez I really wish they'd up the ante and have Batman start a relationship with a married woman like the time he did that exact thing with Orion's wife, but instead of the natural curve of that relationship I want something forced like we find out Orion is a totally okay guy who was just troubled and wants her back and not the freaking Dog of War for New Genesis and the story suddenly becomes about the love triangle brought about by this indecisive woman's inability to choose which penis she wants more because gosh she just has so many feelings.  Or better yet, we should have a story about how Tony Stark and Clint Barton fight over which is the better man for the Wasp by engaging in long staring contests, pissing contests, abusive relationship tactics, and overall overly emotional dialogue appealing to an indecisive Wasp that even the 60's comic books would find a little contrived while said Wasp really wants both because both represent something she wants rather than realizing life is significantly more complex.  That or at least have it about a bunch of kid heroes who are learning from their elders in proper usage of their powers while dealing with teenage things like growth, crushes, self image, and a conspiracy to kill them all.  Wait, we called that one Avengers Academy.  (I'll admit, nowhere near as well done as Harry Potter)  Drama, romance, strife, heartache, death, dying, struggle, racism, all things covered in comics.  Captain Marvel (not the DC one, the Marvel one) actually straight up died from cancer as opposed to just getting hit too many times.  Dr. Light was an out and out rapist who assaulted Sue Dibney (the Elongated Man's wife) on the Justice League Watchtower, seeing future versions of present characters faced with what they may become if they continue their path.  Things all inside of comics.  Strong stories, messages, great action, wittiness and thought, all of it can be found there. And it doesn't even have to contain superheroes.  

There is a perception that comic books are just about superheroes, and it couldn't be further from the truth.  It's just that superheroes make up the bulk of comic sales and get all the movies and such.  There are several comic books which are either superhero-esque or have nothing to do with superheroes at all.  Some are Slice of Life, some are romantic, some are sci-fi, some are horror, some are even comedic.  Some of those will have superheroes or superhero elements, and some will just be about normal people living in normal or supernatural situations.  

A problem is people see "superhero" over the broad stroke and assume it's all just one story, rather than just a section of story telling.  It's the same belief which would have you think all horror stories are "Alien" or all action stories are "Divergent."  Rather than realizing Alien is Sci-Fi Horror as opposed to supernatural horror like Nightmare on Elm Street, and how Cobra fits under action as action adventure where Divergent falls under dystopia, coming of age action.  And this is the same with superheroes.  People see superheroes and they think "Super Friends," not Squadron Supreme or the Watchmen, or the more mature Batman/Iron Man/Captain America stories which were converted into extremely profitable movies people raved about concerning complexity and content.  Which leads to the final bit.

Another problem is people see comic books as primarily kid stories, and so why would you want to give a kid's story a chance?  I mean, doing that would be like adults watching Adventure Time, Spongebob Squarepants, Gravity Falls, freaking Jimmy Neutron, etc.  And we all know right and proper adults wouldn't give those shows the time of day.  Sarcasm mode off.  Superheroes are for all ages, and are primarily aimed at 15-35 year olds which means there's rarely any threat on getting stories about how you should drink your milk and exercise.  

Seriously, if you want to know superheroes can cross over extremely mature themes, comedy, and explicit content all at the same time while well written?  Go out and buy Bomb Queen right now.  If you want a smartly, dramatic, powerful science fiction sans superheroes?  Go out and buy Saga right now.  There's so many different comics that you'll most likely find something you can get behind and enjoy.  Even if it's the Walking Dead.

How You TOO Can Get Into And Enjoy Reading Comics: The Dreaded Wait

Over the holiday weekend (which was Christmas for me), I received a gift of a comic book cover to an issue of Iron Man (vol.1 #126 to be precise) which I (somehow correctly) guessed was from '79.  Of course, me being me I said, "Hey!  This is all the way from 1979!  Greatness!" to which the gifter commented, "Man, that is crazy!  This is why I can't get into comics.  You had to know a story line which was published 6 years before you were born!" I kinda just grinned in a twisted sense of both pride for the compliment as well as a twinge of pain because I've heard this several times before. 

Often when I talk to people about comic book reading and collecting (especially if they are manga fans in a native sense) I will commonly get reasons such as the wait (again mostly from manga fans), content, and even sometimes people who just don't want to be made fun of.  Granted those people will be happy to watch and glow about the Avengers, but you'll never see them wanting to crack open the Kree-Skrull War because that's for nerds.  Most commonly though is the backlog of comics that push away new readers through sheer intimidation by numbers and fear of a need to know every little detail of a comic character's existence to get the character now.

I'm here to tell you that you can.  You can, and it is far easier than you think.  Don't worry.  Mak is here to help you.  He's here to cradle you softly in his arms and comfort you with tales of fantasy.  I'm losing track, so let's start.

How To Get Into Comic Book Reading

We'll tackle this huge issue by breaking it down into the four points mentioned above: Wait, Content, Stigma, and Backlog.

The Dreaded Wait

Truth be told, I primarily get this complaint from manga fans.  Seems odd to veteran comic-only readers, but many manga (particularly shonen) titles are weekly.  Every seven days manga fans can pretty much depend on their title coming out, where American superhero comic fans tend to have to wait a month.  This isn't always true, and many fans on both sides are sometimes willing to wait inordinate amounts of time such as Hunter X Hunter's odd year long hiatus where fans are treated to a burst of issues month after month and then met with a yawning gap of inactivity, and Iron Man vol. 4 was well known for taking two years of intermittent releases to finish a six issue arc (Extremis for those who don't know).  The truth of the matter is, if a month long wait is your gate for patience it's a pretty crappy, fabricated, lazy ass excuse.  I assume it's most likely due to the similar medium having quicker (usually) releases in manga, because no other group really has this problem.  People wait years for movies, months for a mid-season hiatus, and really just about any amount of time required to pump out an entertainment medium for any reason whatsoever.  Is this entitlement?  Are some just so used to having more quickfire things that they just cannot handle slower issues?  History says no, because people have been known to wait and come flocking back (most people) to a series which has taken it's time in many mediums.  The truth of the matter is, if you cannot handle that wait then that's pathetic.  You'll still be there in a month, you have several other series you most likely keep up with, and truth be told 30 days of wait is pretty good considering the massive process it takes comic books to make print.  "But Mak, 52 had weekly releases.  This proves comic book companies can do it, so they should if they want my money."  Yes, they can do it if they plan out an entire year of stories, have several teams writing and drawing this very precise tale under super strong time constraints which remove them from any other project in the universe and has so many working cogs that the entire company has to basically push all other ideas to the back.  Infinite Crisis was the event that had DC telling no other stories for an entire year but stories which were carefully plotted out by a team above.  The army of writers and artists working on that basically dumped their lives into that effort, and it definitely isn't something a comic book company can normally do.  "Manganka's do it.  I don't see why not."  False.  Let's take someone like Oda Eiichiro who does definitely push himself into writing so much One Piece so often he sometimes gets sick.  That's fine and all.  Counting that One Piece is regularly just under 20 pages with several art assistants, rarely having color past the cover of the magazine, and if you're successful like Oda or Masashi Kishimoto and don't need to submit scripts you then only get broad instructions with little oversight to the direction of the series you want it to go.  If you're not as fortunate, you have to submit a "script" to the editor who then tells you to pursue that or not.  (Commonly editors will poke their heads in and make recommendations to improve the sales of a series, such as certain settings, extra characters, etc.).  Comic books, particularly superhero ones, work a little differently for several reasons.  Primarily because entire teams are usually utilized to make comic books.  Screw the writer and drawing assistant roles.  It's not uncommon to have multiple writers on the same book who are also working with others for different plots in other books at the same time.  Art is usually done by one person with several inkers following after for what are usually full color comic books.  A story has to be approved every single time (unless you're Bendis, then you get rubber stamped) to ensure characters can be used before you even go writing.  Lastly the printing process is usually set up for monthly, and distribution usually follows, since this is the primary standard of the superhero comic book industry.  This means you probably have to pay extra to have your comics printed every week at full color, forcing an entire team into extra overtime (comic writers/artists tend to work overtime as is) to complete projects which will eventually become terrible and rushed.  Remember when I said One Piece averages under 20 pages?  The average comic book issue is 24 pages.  24 pages multiplied against a dozen or so titles releasing each week individually from other issues.  Covers, interior art, editing teams, control teams, writer/artist coordination, artist/inking coordination, printing schedules, delivery schedules, future planning, writer/artist talent crossovers.  Comic books are a huge monster.  

There is also the matter with how stories are distributed.  Commonly many popular shonen manga are distributed as a large package every week in a anthology series which pressures a strict schedule which comics do not share, while comics do not do anthologies pretty much at all.  Batman might have four titles a month, all sold individually.  Thor is separate from the Avengers in sales, Constantine is his own deal, Spider-Man will have three individual titles.  To have one company have that much put together and go out every month is a staggering task.  Doing it weekly with that many moving parts is impossible.

So it's sort of weird when I hear things like "Manga can do it, comics can do it, I shouldn't have to wait."  And while I do think sometimes companies *cough*Marvel*cough* take advantage of loyalty, I still think when people say a month is too long they're acting spoiled.  This isn't a, "When I was your age we had to wait for ice all year long and we LIKED it!" scenario as much as a, "How inconvenienced are you really?"  Several newspaper comics beforehand used to be daily, or every other day, and I don't hear people clamoring about how those strips are a superior format.  There are huge differences in production and distribution for manga and comics, just like there is for movies and television, or books and magazine, or even tablets and computers.  Because the content and methods are different, they should be thought of differently.  So if a whole calendar period is the only thing stopping you, take a step back, take a deep breath, get over yourself and find a better reason.  Let's face it, if One Piece/Bleach/Hunter x Hunter/Case Closed/Slam Dunk/Assassination Classroom/Hajime no Ippo/JoJo's Bizarre Adventure/etc. suddenly went into a monthly schedule, people would happily wait, and like comics the series would be broken up to distribute throughout the month.

Now if your reason IS distribution and price methods that come from the monthly model or weekly model, those are far better problems with merit.

Superman and Magic

Three posts?  One week?  I clearly have some time finally.  Perhaps I should actually be using this time to further my life, or help others, or just continue to blather on.

A pal of mine a couple days ago talked to me about ScrewAttack's Death Battle between Kirby and Majin Buu and stated Superman was lucky he didn't have to fight Buu.  I told him he was right because Buu would turn Superman into food via his junkfood attack, though I disagreed that would completely remove Superman due to how Vegetto was capable of continued fighting and Superman might be capable of the same.  It's a weird idea, since Superman is nothing like any of the characters there but that didn't matter.  My pal decided that wasn't the factor he was talking about.  He felt Buu should win since his power is fueled by and made up of MAGIC.

I about got up and slapped my buddy for that one.  But I couldn't since I really can't blame him for thinking that way and because of several other legal and physical reasons (I don't want to get beat up).  I can't believe people still believe this and that I'm doing a post on this.  So let's just do this.

Superman and how magic IS NOT a weakness

This will be easiest if I say that magic isn't a weakness of Superman as much as it is just a vulnerability of Superman.

"You just did it!  You just freaking admitted magic is a weakness!"

No.

No.

NOOOO!

Vulnerabilities and weaknesses overlap, but are not the same thing.  So let me try again.  There is no inherent weakness to magic in Superman.  If magic were truly a weakness of his, then magic should be listed as a weakness to Batman, the Flash, the President of the United States, Tony Stark, Captain America, Spider-Man, and pretty much any character who doesn't have a power which resists magic like...say... Captain Marvel Shazam (not the wizard, though he should too).  Why?  Because none of those characters have inherent resistance to magic, which puts them on the same field as Superman.  If we had to make a scale of 0-10 of magical resistance with 0 meaning no resistance and 10 meaning you're the omnipotent being of creation, Superman, Batman, and all humans would rest on 0. 

"But Mak!" you whine, spitting out Mountain Dew in contempt while using your smuggest and righteous tone, "I've read a comic once, and I know for a fact magic was stated as the outright reason for Superman's defeat!"  Sure, you did read that.  This is why I can't blame my friend for thinking that way.  Comics does itself no favors.

DC Comics has something of a continuity editing board, meaning that if someone tried to tell a Superman story where Superman tried to tell the tale of how his powers suddenly grow to project fire from his mouth and was born in Australia, the editors would fire back saying "No, change that."  The problem is this doesn't always work, and this is compounded when writers and editors don't quite understand what they're seeing/doing.  Let's not mince words, not everybody who works in the comic field understands the characters they manage or write about.  It just happens, and some writers who take over characters sometimes only know the bare bones or just what they've heard about characters.  When this happens, we have events of CIS, PIS, WIS, etc.  Then we have events where Captain Marvel punches out Superman because he charged his fists with magic, and magic is the reason as opposed to the fact Captain Marvel simply boosted his physical power output.  Or when Supergirl and Power Girl are separated by Alan Scott's ring because his barrier is made up of magic and since it's just a barrier shaped of magical energy the two Kryptonian powerhouses cannot move past it.  These are bad representations because if these were true then anybody, ANYBODY, could put on a magic ring which just sort of puts a little magic in their system and wail on Kryptonians (and presumably Daxamites), or just learn a basic barrier spell and trap Superman in a forever cage he could never escape from personally, facilitating a need for Batman and some sort of anti-magic spray.  

"But Mak, this is in the pages, it happens, therefore it's canon."  This is lazy and really just speaks to how people want a character to fit their mold without understanding what this implies.

Just as often, if not more often, Superman is also shown bashing through magical barriers, shrugging off magic fireballs, and otherwise just living.  "But Mak, the magic has to be done TO him!" YES!! We are half way there.  "No no.  I mean the magic has to come into contact to him."  And that's where we restart.  That's not true.  It's not.  Let's go back to the whole CM punching Superman deal.  Some will say it was the magic in his fists which put him down, or the magic lightning bolt which hurt Superman (lightning hurts Superman anyway, since his body isn't rubber and his nervous system is electrical like ours), but that's bunk.  Why?  Easy.  Living on Earth should then destroy Superman.  Earth is the focal point of magic in the entire universe, and it pervades it, and it is filled with magical heroes many of which have come into contact and have served alongside Superman.  It's why the Rock of Eternity is on Earth, because Earth has so much freaking magic.  Let's not even put into play that Captain Marvel is always a magic being, charged and ebbing with the stuff, and should render Superman unconscious every time they shake hands, let's look at the issue where Billy used the lightning bolt to weaken Superman because it was magic and how it pretty much goes against the rest of the issue.  Superman was being possessed by Eclipso. ECLIPSO.  Eclipso the proto-Spectre.  Eclipso is a ridiculously powerful magic being who decided to infuse Superman's body with the entirety of it's power.  MAGIC power.  If the whole "Superman is weak to the presence of magic" bit was correct, Superman should have straight up exploded if not just went all Raiders of the Lost Ark and melted into a pool.  

So let's spell out what magic and Superman do when they interact.

Superman is simply subject to the effect of the magic spell if it moves past his physical durability.  For instance, if you were some sort of magician which specializes in fire casting magic and you sent explosive fireballs at Superman, they would effect him as any explosive fireball would.  Not because Superman has a resistance to magical fire, but because Superman is normally resistant to the effects of that spell.  The source of the fire is magic, and unless the intended spell is to burn literally everything rather than just be magic caused fire, it will not effect Superman in any abnormal way.  The same goes for lightning, ice, water, etc.  However, if the intended spell is something like a sword which cuts anything or has a spell which increases it's cutting power to levels above Superman's natural durability, then Superman will be harmed.  If the spell makes people go to sleep, Superman will go to sleep.  If it's a spell that lumps a chunk of magic like a big rock, then chances are Superman can punch it into space.  It isn't hard.  It shouldn't be this hard to explain.  It shouldn't be this hard to understand.

Magic was used to show how people can exploit and work around Superman's near invincibility as a character.  Telepathy, magic, emotions, things like that as ways of showing Superman can't just walk into every fight and punch things until he wins.  Recently in the New 52, Superman had to fight Captain Comet and Comet pretty much shut him down.

So where is all the banter about Superman having an increased weakness to telepathic characters?  The matter is, telepathic character interactions are easy to map out.  Is the opposing character telepathic or stated with overt telepathic resistance?  Then 9/10 times the answer is obvious.  But magic and Superman are so intertwined with confusion on how magic works that is creates a lot of confusion and poor writing.  When it was introduced as a vulnerability for Superman some confused the idea as Superman having some sort of weakness like Kryptonite because that's how weaknesses tended to be presented for the Man of Steel.  Unknown variable causes negativity which then must be a weakness.  Kryptonite, Red Sun energy, etc.  Especially given how immediate it works, and everybody just being used to Superman tanking anything which comes his way.  It sucks because people see it and say, "Well, it's Superman.  If he can't even resist it a little it must be a weakness.  That's how Superman works!"  But it's not.  And I have no clue how people still think this.  Newcomers to comics see older fans say things like that and the cycle restarts, but I have no clue how older comic fans still say this.  Fanboyism?  Enforced internal ignorance? I have no clue.

Please enjoy this:

Once upon a time, a weakness of Superman's was not knowing how to teach lessons that made sense. And modesty

The Comic Bubble

Good day.  I hope everything is doing good for you.

Anyways last post I was talking about Variant Covers and how it was helping to inflate the Comic Bubble and potentially may be hastening the bubble burst. I didn't?  Well, it is.  But just what is the comic bubble, and what are my worries?  I guess I should somewhat explain what I be talkin' bout.

Not this sort of bubble

More like this sort of bubble, the fragile kind that when you "KAPOW" it, it just pops

See, the comic industry like any industry which relies on speculative value and work to expand influence.  Basically the comic industry like all industries will grow and deflate over time, and when it happens with comics it tends to be extreme.  But it's not because that's just how people are (though it has something to do with it) it's because how some in the comic industry are looking to turn a very quick buck.  In my previous post I talked about variant covers and market glut, and this is a huge part of it.  However there are other factors such as saturation of product, visualization, outlets, publicity and so on and so forth.  

Let me try to organize my thoughts into a slightly more coherent view and start at the bottom.

The basic market for all comic book companies are the primary comic book fandom.  These are people who generally buy comics and will spend more and take risks on different series and stories as they grow as fans and collectors.  From here comic companies test their products and see how dyed in the wool fans respond.  Then comic companies reach out to kids with toys and cartoons, and more recently the public at large with movies and tie in deals and food company advertisements and all sorts of stuff.  The merchandising aspect of comic book characters is insane and even the movies make far more money than comic books because movies are easier to get into and don't require a monthly investment.  Comic books do.  And that's where comic companies are having a hard time right now with converting movie watchers and other fans into comic purchasing fans.  This is reflected with how comic books actually begin to reflect their cinematic counterparts, such as Iron Man getting the Robert Downey Jr. effect in Keiron Gillen's relaunch of Iron Man (pre Guardians of the Galaxy which was pre Superior Iron Man).  Cap's new costume, the entire lineup of the Avengers, the Chituari becoming a Skrull subspecies as opposed to being alternate universe Skrulls, the entire Guardians of the Galaxy being changed from a cosmic horror team into a more lighthearted space adventure, the prominence of DC teams and characters who are getting movies (though it could be argued DC is simply trying hard to generate interest in these characters from two fronts).  Okay, so Marvel's a little worse about it.  But let's face it, Marvel is happy to whore it out to whomever pays up.  That's the Disney/Marvel way.  And not that this is particularly bad in some ways, but it is bad in the whole "Bubble" aspect, and here's why: Comic Character Movies are a fad.  

Sure, comic movies have been popular to some degrees since the 70's with a few successful and critical Superman films, the first couple Batman films, the first two Raimi Spider-Man/Singer X-Men films, and the Nolan Dark Knight Trilogy.  These were far from the only comic films as several were rolled out during the 2000's, but none of them really managed to catch on like the Nolan Trilogy which truly changed everything in 2005.  When Batman Begins hit, the movie going public and greater public in general began to more seriously contemplate and pay for superhero movies.  This was a big change in the industry after X3, Spider-Man 3, and Batman & Robin pretty much kept shoving superhero movies back down into the gutter.  But Batman Begins proved that the public was ready to embrace comic book characters as action heroes and Batman Begins launched them to the big time.  After Batman Begins, superhero movies were the big thing.  And not to say all superhero movies were as well received as the very next year with Superman Begins, the public wasn't as receptive.  However, Marvel found unexpected success (from many fan's at least) with Iron Man.  And from Iron Man, we all know how prevalent the superhero movie is every year now.  So for a decade starting next year, superhero films will have dominated cinema releases alongside YA movie adaptations for a decade.  It will not last.  And the comic industry is going to crash again when the movies fold?

"I don't see why the movie industry folding will crush comics, Mak.  You just said the industry has a hard time making readers out of viewers, and the readers should remain so stop being a bitch."

Wrong.  Why?  Because readers will ditch for the same reason viewers will: Burnout.

In the 90's, comics crashed due to things like oversaturation of covers, terribly written sensational stories, fatigue, and the fact you couldn't turn around without superheros trying to insert themselves into something.  Also Rob Liefeld should get some personal blame since Image (and his work in Marvel) were pinnacles of what was wrong.  And we see this now repeating with modern times with companies re-employing heavy usage of variant covers, TWISTS!! TURNS!! EXTREME RETELLINGS!!, redrilling into terrible 90's ideas, ridiculous changes to characterization, and the fact they have an Earth shattering big event every single year, sometimes more than one a year.  This is not to say comics are ONLY doing this.  When the burst happens this time, it won't be as bad as companies are doing their best (through pressure of the public) to branch out and try to appeal on levels that aren't simply extension of movie fun.  With women and minorities getting an expanded role, comic companies will not hurt as bad when they crash.  But crash they most likely will, because riding a boom on the very edge of it for a quick buck ensure that when the bubble bursts, the fall is just that much further down. I do want to talk more on this and explain why these herald a dark time, but maybe not.  We'll see.

The man who drew this, Rob Liefeld, was the highest paid comic writer and artist of the 90's.  'Nuff said.  We're also sort of returning to this mentality. 'Nuff said...?

New Week, New Topic: Variant Covers and they tie to the Comic Bubble

Alright, I'm ready to just start the rants about things I love and hate about comics and today I'm taking a shot at something I vehemently dislike: Variant Covers.

Oh lawdy, variant covers.

First off, sorry it's been a couple weeks since my previous entry but life's tough and shizz.

Second off, let me reiterate: FUCK. VARIANT. COVERS.*

*Sometimes they're okay.

Earlier yesterday I was bopping along the internet searching about comic news as I will when I came across something in The Escapist about the new Marvel Star Wars comic having 20 variant covers.  It attributes these covers to the fact this issue will outsell any other single comic book in a long long long time.  I clicked the link to Bleeding Cool (The Escapist's source) only to find out over 60 covers are planned for this series and they're only up to issue 1.  Wait... Yeah, that's right.  ISSUE FUCKING 1.  The first blitzing issue has over 60 planned variant covers.  Granted you can't hop on down to your LCS and find all sixty plus covers.  No.  Some of these will be far rarer than others, and your LCS has to shell out for X amount of copies to get access to some of them at all.  This is a direct appeal to collectors and investors in comic books and this is fucking disgusting.

FUCK THIS PRACTICE.

Let me tell you why I hate variant covers.  Do you remember the 90's for comic books?  I sure do, it's when I actually started getting into them, and I used to love comics a lot from that era since I didn't know better.  Comics during the 90's (early 90's) was the biggest time for all comic books and comics sold like hotcakes, pressing people into literally investing into comics by buying all the editions they could.  Marvel in their infinite glory and wisdom began to make variant covers by the truckload to directly appeal to speculators and collectors and the like.  This meant that many issues of comics would be sold with several versions of a cover to have people who were looking to cash in on the future but the same issue multiple times.  The same story over and over and over again just in the idea that if you were to sell this issue it would be worth so much as a collection.  

This tied in directly with the feel of excess the 90's carried.  America was doing great, economy was on the rise, do what feels good was the fun, the whole investment thing was bigger than ever.  Comics reflected this in the worst way.  We were growing out of the 80's into a more extreme decade which meant everything had to be turned up "TO THE XTREME!!"  No time for that first "E" that shit just gets in the way of how XTREME comics were becoming.  Variant covers were the ultimate expression.  Only an XTREME fan would have all the issues because the future looks so bright with dollar signs from collecting the four X-Men covers with the chromium sheen and gold/silver/regular covers to Avengers stories.  XTREME covers to match the XTREME stories.

Then the crash.

See, the problem with this sort of blaring overabundance is that eventually the entire medium suffers and it drives the fans away.  It was a model unsustainable because you can only go so far with comic books.  The market crashed on comic books and now books from that decade are straight up worthless.  Some hold some value, yes, but on the general curve you can't barely give them away.  I was in my LCS some years ago when a guy walked in with three boxes of comics (long boxes, not the short kind) and the owner gave the man a pained and sad look and told him he couldn't buy them because nobody wants them.  Comic books designed only to BE collected just wouldn't sell because of the missing covers, the lackluster stories, and overall poor quality.  The entire crappiness of an industry destroying trinkets people held on to for a decade and a half just for the former collectors to be told their fake loyalty was a waste of potentially thousands of dollars.

Okay, I'll back up a bit.  I do not hate variant covers.  At least I do not hate the idea of variant covers.  The very first time I came across a variant covers was during Marvel's "Heroes Return" bit when heroes who previously were jettisoned into a Counter Earth dimension ("Heroes Reborn") were coming back to regular Earth and to celebrate were relaunching these lines with alternate "Sunburst covers."  So each new first issue would have a regular cover and one with the hero coming over some clouds with a symbol resembling their power (or something) like a sun shining with the character over this.  It was special, because this was a special event.  This makes sense for variant covers.  I also sort of give a pass  for variant covers in the "flavor of the week" style.  These will have variant covers for an entire week (sometimes far longer which is inexcusable) and feature a theme such as "Deadpooling" or having the DC titles look like child cartoons.  I guess these can be okay so long as they don't get out of control.  However, they tend to and that's crap.  There is also a subtype of variant cover I also do not mind which is the Chase Cover.  A chase cover is when a print of an issue is reprinted with a new cover to be sold at stores after the first printing has run out.  Basically there is a "First Print" cover and a "Reprint" cover.  This gives an air of specialness (which I also somewhat dislike) for owners of an original issue.  THAT is special.  THAT is okay.  What's not okay is when specialness is artificially given to an issue by having multiple covers printed at the same time without any expiration of supplies.  That is just industry crap forcing the idea onto you that these issues are so special you need to buy them all.  "But Mak," you retort, "I don't have to.  Nobody has to.  If you don't want three covers of the same issue, then you don't buy them.  Comic companies aren't twisting your arm on this one." But you're wrong.  They are.  This implied specialness is real.  Especially when variant covers are reduced in number compared to their more plentiful "non variant" cover.  This makes the variant cover seem actually more special than the already implied special issue.  It makes collectors feel their collection is incomplete without these potentially more expensive covers.  And don't be fooled, these covers CAN be more expensive than their "regular" siblings.  And this practice is crap because it's like the industry is acting like getting this cover is some sort of special cover not available to other issues, but when you buy this cover and the other one and walk away, you realize the original cover already WAS individual to the cover.  In this way you're being deceived into thinking the issue is groundbreaking, great, acclaimed, or otherwise something more than just another issue of your favorite character.  It is banking on your feeling of being left out or incomplete when there is a variant issue presented.

"Comics make money this way.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Comics should ride this boom."

Alright, I understand this mentality.  Comics are riding a boom since the early to mid 2000's.  And it's welcome since the huge crash of the early to mid 90's.  I get it.  Comics are a bigger business than pretty much ever with all the tie in entertainment.  And variant covers figure into more sales since it encourages readers to buy more than one copy.  While the speculator boom is nowhere near as bad as the 90's, a similar feeling is pervading this boom.  There is much reporting on certain comics going sky high at auctions, lots of media coverage such as this Star Wars one, and the tie in comics (which is a topic for another time) shows us that comics are again very popular and sales show a growth.  Variant covers are a symptom of growth, but the perverse amount coming out is nothing short of disgusting and will fuel another pop when collector glut reaches another nauseating level when comics again decline after the public moves on to the next big entertainment fad and production costs can't keep up with the shedding of collectors who will begin to realize all these covers are a waste of their money.  If you really think that beloved Valkyrie variant of Secret Avengers #6 or vampire, Adventure Time, Lego, Hollywood, retro, and Tron (to name a few) variants are going to be worth anything in the next twenty years, you are fooling yourself.  None of those issues were worth of note, none of them had any demand to be recollected, and when you go back to look at these issues you'll more or less wish you had the hundreds of dollars back to respend on something else. Probably another waste of time and money, but at least a different waste rather than the same thing.

"But it's only a few bucks.  That's not bad, Mak."

A few bucks here and there becomes hundreds of dollars.  If you're a semi-"serious" collector, you probably buy a few issues every week, and we'll say 10 issues a week total.  Otherwise known as 30 bucks because Marvel and DC charge anywhere between three to five dollars per issue.  Let's say 2 issues every week come out with a variant cover and you being the semi serious completionist feel the need to buy them.  Another six to ten dollars a week.  This comes out to be around 520 dollars per year in variants alone.  And that's IF the variants are the same price as the regular covers, which they aren't always.

"We don't have to buy them."

I already talked about this, but I'm repeating myself anyway.  This is technically true.  In the same way we don't have to do pretty much anything like living in increasingly nice places, eating well, going to the doctor, buying new electronics, buying trendy clothes, or really anything.

"Mak, don't be such a stupid drama queen.  That's not the same thing.  You're comparing apples to oranges and reaching hard for this one."

Wrong.  It IS the same thing.  If it seems exclusive, special, trendy, or otherwise "cool," we as people want them.  We want them MORE than the things we currently have and others might not even if we already own them.  It lends us this air of exclusivity we don't normally have.  Like buying a fancy hat which you know will look "cool" or buying a new phone because it's flashy, variant covers do a very similar thing to us.  We can easily justify and compartmentalize this because it's significantly cheaper, but as we do this we end up allowing ourselves to spend more and more on these things.  It's why people own a hardcover Absolute Edition of the Watchmen while already owning the issues and soft cover TPB of it already.  It's why people own several colors of the same pair of shoes or jackets or hats.  Even makeup does this.  And the fact comic books do this is terrible.

SUPER SMAAAAAAAAASH BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!! For Wii U

Gather round, gather round ladies and gentlemen for a grand ol' review for the latest installment of the long running fighting franchise whose name misleads people into thinking brothers go around super smashing things. 

Full on disclosure.  If you're reading this at all, you know what Smash Bros is about and you never had any inkling it was about brothers who super smash stuff.  You know full well it's about a roster of popular Nintendo characters along with a few non-Nintendo characters duking it out.  I say popular, but I mean some are only popular in Japan or just popular enough to make the cut.  While most characters you will recognize, there are quite a few you'll only barely know enough just to name.  You'll know characters like Bowser Jr. to a degree, but might totally gloss over he was the main villain in Super Mario Sunshine and completely not get why some sort of dark Mario keeps painting the screen as his Final Smash.  Or you might like Captain Falcon, but barely played any F-Zero games.  For these transgressions you can be forgiven (not that these are any sins) because the game barely cares or deals with any story and just picks small elements from characters to build up their attack pools.  That's right, this is like a Virtua Fighter game where the only story which takes place is in your head. Smash Bros. 4 eschews with the obligatory story campaign like Brawl's Subspace Emissary and just goes for the insanity of a huge roster of characters, a plethora of items, and a new 8 player smash mode, which was not featured in the 3DS version of this game.  There is a solo campaign, but it is more reminiscent of the original Smash Bros in how it is bare bones, fight so many battles then the combat team (Fighting Mii Team in this one) and Master Hand.  If you have played the 3DS version of this game, you won't find too much different or surprising except for how the solo campaign has exchanged the multi-path system for a weird board top sliding statue system where you get to sort of pick who you fight.  You might feel that this game is just a slightly larger (and more enjoyable) version of the 3DS version, and if you're like me you own both anyway because you can't get enough of this game.  So let's talk about some of the good and bad of the game.

The character roster is huge as I have previously mentioned.  The largest in Smash Bros. history with a whopping 5,000 characters (clearly not that many), 17 of which are new to the series.  You might feel the roster is a tad bloated and that all these characters would weight down the game, but the opposite is true.  Aside from the Mii Fighters, all of the characters definitely feel unique (except for maybe the clone characters like Pit and Dark Pit but I mean from one another) and they all are surprisingly fun.  I had as much fun with Palutena and her slow telegraphed weird attacks as I did with Mega Man and his lack of punch.  And the characters are fairly diverse in terms of speed, power, range, how they attack, if they can counter, how they soak up damage, how you can be tricky, etc. 

I take it back, I did not like Diddle Diddy Kong.  I just could not get a feel or enjoyment with that character.  

Characters like Little Mac are big risk/reward characters for being fairly light, but powerful and fast with large charge ups and a unique meter which gives him an instant (usual) KO uppercut when full.  Characters like Danky Kang Donkey Kong are slow and lumbering with a weird charge up punch makes up for it by having extreme power and range with his long gorilla arms and fashionable tie.  Olimar of the Pikmin series has a very unique Pikmin inspired attack pool where he plucks different Pikmin from the ground (3 at a time) and each Pikmin he throws does something different, though most usually latch onto an enemy face and pound them in.  And the uniqueness doesn't stop there.  The Villager from Animal Crossing, Palutena, Mega Man, Duck Hunt, and others have weird tactics and abilities which are fun and when mastered are fatal.  Which brings me to the next bit.

Smash Bros Wii U is a very accessible game.  It can be played by beginner and master alike and both will have fun at the same time.  There's enough give that some players won't outright be dominated no matter how skilled the other is, but enough skill to master that the better skilled player shouldn't lose to something silly.  And this is really good because this means people like my girlfriend with very little gaming experience can hop on and actually enjoy herself, and this is what a huge roster and great balancing mechanics can do.  It can allow newcomers and oldcomers to come to the same table, laugh it out, and just have plain old competitive fun with one another without one side feeling overburdened by the other.

"Well Mak, this sounds like some sort of kid's game which appeals to the casuals and not the serious gamers people keep telling me it does.  I'm out!" 

Well, if there's anything I can say about that I will have to say it through the immortal words of the Boganella shotgun, "Rack off ya dog!"  And I seriously mean it.  If this is the attitude you hold towards this sort of game, then you've replaced a critical component of "fun" in video games and replaced it with "shit eating".  Video games can be technical and mastering them and their systems is fun, but if you look to a game and say it's simply not sophisticated enough for your supremely fine tuned technical skills and therefore terrible, then you can go sit and spin on your no fun knob and leave the rest of video game players alone because this game IS fun.  This game appeals to both "casuals" (as loathsome as a word that is) and "hardos" (which sounds equally ridiculous as if it were some badge like "Army Ranger").  There is very little about this game which isn't fun, and most of it is relegated to when you pick up a trophy in the solo game only to find out it's not a new trophy.  Or when I get random placed into Diddy Kong.  Or if I'm random placed on the Great Cave Offensive level which is so big I can't stand it. 

So there are a few bad things.  Trophy collecting which I sort of mentioned earlier. Trophy collecting becomes this all absorbing thing to do as it serves in the form of achievements in some ways and just fills your time with quick spurts of joy in others.  Trophies aren't bad, and their intent is great.  The problem is the multiple methods in which to get them.  After each combat you receive coins which can be used in the trophy store to purchase trophies.  The problem is there are other ways to get the trophies and the system just randomizes which ones you get in every way that isn't a store purchase. The solo campaigns allow you to get trophies as an award for either challenging certain characters or as a roulette bonus, and if you went to the store and spent all your hard earned coins on some sales and what appear to be rare trophies it really sucks when you get a copy of these trophies and only end up with as little as 400 gold despite blowing 850 on the trophy.  It sucks, but this is nitpicking hard because while it does sort of change the way I play the game in trying to make matches longer and such it really doesn't change anything about the game otherwise.  It double sucks because you lose gold for buying special orders passes and then get copies and blah blah blah.  Some might tell me, "Mak, did you enjoy the coin launcher which was also a gamble?" And I would say "No."  I would then be told, "But this is free."  And I would agree.  But it's the difference between putting quarters into an egg machine and knowing the risk with the launcher game as opposed to getting a gift from your parents who knew you already bought something and they simply gave you more of it.  First world problems at their finest.

Another bad thing is sometimes I can't seem to pick up items I run by, and this has several times cost me in combat trophies, pokeballs, etc.  Not really bad, because it adds to the intensity when my friends have the same problem.  The computer I wish also shared this.

My only other problem is a couple of levels which are just way too big, such as The Great Cave Offensive.  Normally big levels are not a bad thing for me as they allow lots of fun.  But some levels are just too big, and while they probably are meant for 8 player fights they make four player fights boring draws because it takes forever to find a combatant and just draws out the length of time.  So as long as I avoid those levels I'm perfectly happy, but I have been known to raise a vote to simply reset the fight to get a different level and it has pretty much always been unanimously accepted.  But aside from these things, the game is great.

My final problem is the loss of some characters. From Brawl we lose the Ice Climbers and Pokemon Trainer.  The official reason for the Ice Climbers was something to do with having two characters acting as one being a problem, though Duck Hunt has the same thing sort of going on.  The Pokemon Trainer is a bit more obvious.  I'll miss the Squirtle/Ivysaur/Charizard in one shift feature which gave you versatility, but let's be honest in saying everybody did their best to just be Charizard all the time.  I found myself playing Charizard most often and so it made sense Nintendo ditched the Trainer and just shoved in Charizard.  I'll miss the Trainer and his background running, but it makes the most sense development wise.

So now for the scoring...

Graphics: 9.8

Graphics are superb.  No chugging, latency, lagging, any of that stuff.  Everybody was clear on the screen for the most part and the colors were gorgeous.  Much like the beauty of Mario Kart 8, the graphics in this game are top notch.  The only problem I really had with the graphics were some of the attacks and statues in play were just...bleh.  Mega Man's leaf shield took particular dislike with me.  Minor minor flaw, but still worth mentioning.

Sound: 9.8

The sounds are great.  Everything makes one, they're all pretty satisfying.  The music is grand and catchy and fits the levels.  But it's the voices I felt a little bad about. The voices feel all but forgettable, and that's a shame given the work put into the whole process.  There are voice soundboards you can access in game, and I'll tell you I don't remember more than 10% of them used in the game.  Link has upwards of 30 but I dare defy you to make out more than four.  The sound switches up in the menu as you access it and that's nice.  However, it seems weird but I can't remember the game's central theme like I could with the original, Melee, and Brawl.  So... Yeah.  This is more nitpicking than anything.

Playstyle/Gameplay: 9

I've stated before my only real problem is sometimes it has problems with me running by and picking up things which wasn't apparent in the previous installments of this series.  The characters are fairly balanced, and any imbalance isn't bad because the game is fun and every character has an advantage and disadvantage.

Variety: 9.8

The assortment of characters is bizarre, as is the selection of stages.  While I almost yearn for more stages, the fact you can make your owns stages is fairly awesome and makes up for the shortfall.  Also something to include is the Mii Fighter creator.  The assortments of designs and configuration is pretty fun, and nothing beats a cowboy hat shooter with a dragon's head for a hand.  Also, I loved in a previous game where at the credits you shot at the names Star Fox style and can't say I love the new "fill up the picture" by punching style since some characters just sort of suck with this aspect.  "That's because you suck, Mak."  Yeah, I do.  But this doesn't necessarily make me want to get better at it so much as skip the end sequence altogether.  To hell with the potential extra 100 gold.  I'm always taunted by being shy two or three gold.

Designs: 10

All these characters are beautifully detailed and they move great.  There is plenty of color and detail to the bare glance which makes most of the ruckus easy to follow and keep characters distinct, but if you look closer you see the care and effort put forth by Nintendo to really flesh out all these designs.  Stage design is also beautiful and the environments function great from the familiar Brinstar lava raise to the excellent Wario themed Gamer level which has a furious mom checking in on you and if you're caught in her gaze it spells death. 

Story: N/A

Stability: 10

Game is great.  No graphical glitches I saw.  It all worked perfectly as you would expect a Nintendo's hail mary product to be.

Replay Value:10

If you cannot fathom why this got a ten, I would assume you're not quite sure of the point of this game.

Total Score:
9.8

Final Thoughts: 

What can I say?  This game is beyond fun.  Fun enough that I got my old ass up and took my Wii U to my family's house to share it with them when I'm usually just happy to tell them how much fun I was having alone.  Yes, so much fun I had to share the fun.  There was literally too much fun for me to have alone, even with my girlfriend playing as well.  If I tried to contain it, it would've manifested as some sort of cancer and killed me down the line because the fun was too powerful.  Powerful additions were made to this game in the form of Little Mac and Mega Man.  I was a little iffy on Brawl, but this game deserves all the points it got.  If it weren't my personal job to nitpick things, I would have given this game a 10.

Pictured: Destroyers of your free time