Thursday, November 6, 2014

I'm Tired Of All These Mother-Trucking Glitches In This Mother-Trucking Game!!! Borderlands The Pre-Sequel Review

Give me a second to collect my thoughts as I take a few breaths in an effort to calm down.

I love the Borderlands series.  I'm one of those brainless "give me things by the semi-truck load" sort of guy.  Shooting enemies and seeing more items fall out of them than blood.  I love the differences between the "classes" and I love the humor of the series.  Sure, it's filled with memes, but that's okay.  But you know what Borderlands the Pre-Sequel is filled with?  If you say "glitches," then you guessed it because you're clever and can read titles.  GLITCHES.

This guy oddly and fun..nly(?) runs on glitches as an entire skill tree and action skill.

Let me say that no Borderlands title has ever been free of glitches.  I can't think of any game that's completely free of glitches. But the multitude and level of glitches in this game are infuriating.  I cannot tell you how many times missions wouldn't progress because the game didn't pick up my character running over the arbitrary point on the ground which triggers progression.  Several times I went back and forth through the RedBelly level where the gate opens in the Crimson Scar, killed all of the guys and couldn't go anywhere until I ran around like crazy to trigger the dialogue and a gate all the way at the beginning of the stage.  ARGH!  How many times enemies just sort of slipped through the floor and I couldn't progress even with a storm of butt slams and grenades to that spot in an effort to kill that one guy needed to finish something.  ERMAHGERD!!

Two seconds, need to take another calming breath.

It's not to say this game is bad.  It's far from it.  When not glitchy, the game runs great.  Running and gunning is fun, the air boosting makes for all sorts of fun, the weapons are fun, the humor is fun, it's just a fun game.  Several problems with Borderlands 2 have been addressed in this game such as good weapons never dropping, because good weapons drop sometimes.  And the inclusion of the Mr. Grind weapon grinder is a touch of genius.  Take three of the beyond plentiful trash weapons, shove them in the grinder, and there's a decent chance of pulling back a better gun.  Rinse and repeat till you're sitting on better gear all around.  It makes trash loot seem more important and you're always excited you'll get a Luneshine weapon that doles out more XP or gives you O2 (Or Oz as the locals call it) as you hurt enemies, or the other plethora of weirdness which pervades this game's potential weapons.  While you do find more junk than gold, at least it isn't always bad.  Also money means something again.  Orange Legendaries show up in vending machines again.  Remember how in BL 2 you just didn't come across legendaries unless you either hacked them or won the non-money lottery?  Gone are those days.  Legendaries are a bit more common, but not so much you see them all over.  Except for the Excalibastard which is literally out in the open for taking if thou art Badass enough to pull it with a score of at least 2500 Badass Rank.  You only get to pull it once, so make sure it counts.  Going back to the legendaries, you do find them in vending machines for heart crushing amounts you normally don't have nearly enough cash for.  But at least they're there, and money has actual value again because of it and the fact you'll probably buy ammo occasionally if you suck like me.

A quick rundown of the characters: Athena the Gladiator is an ex-Crimson Assassin who wields the Aspis shield which absorbs kinetic energy and can be thrown for explosive damage who has three trees which either focus on expanding the power of her shield, expanding her melee with things like bleeding, exploding, and health regen, and a tree which gives her odd electrical powers.  Wilhelm the Enforcer is...an enforcer who wields two drones named Saint who heals and Wolf who hunts, and his three trees focus on boosting Wolf, enhancing his body and laser weaponry (love that dash and shoot and robo punch), and enhancing Saint.  Nisha the Lawbringer is a bandit hunting bandit who looks for fun and her action skill is Showdown which increases every aspect of gun using and has an autoaim feature which confused me at first as I'm a scope shooter.  Nisha has three trees which enhance her melee, her pistol using (notably with Magnificent Six and One for Each of Ya which clones her pistol and allows dual wielding), and a tree which emphasizes larger magazines and non-elemental weapons which means Jakobs is king with her.  Claptrap the Fragtrap is a complicated and extremely varied character with his Vaulthunter.exe skill which randomizes through battlefield variables which skill he may access like a rubber ducky defense which bounces out of control, Funzerking which clones a gun and forces the whole team to shoot like crazy (though they don't clone), Meat Unicycle which makes him like Krieg the Psycho of BL2 and enhances melee for the team, among others which are unlocked through his trees.  His trees are really weird in that one enhances solo play and explosions in general with a skill that hurts his shields but recharges his health as he kills things and gives him two explosive based transformations.  A teamwork tree which gives team wide buffs, a big bomb which kills him if it kills nobody else, a healing nova which unlocks his gun wizard skill, and a high five skills which gives out buffs to the team or solo if nobody gives him a highfive. And finally the Fragmented Fragtrap tree which is a horror of subroutines which do things like increase damage with one gun/elemental type which reducing damage in all others with a rotation every couple minutes as frag stacks run out, but does give two more transformations as a hunter with a one hit kill (likely patterned off of Sir Hammerlock) and the laser inferno which is a disco ball which shoots lasers.  Needless to say Claptrap is the weirdest to play with, but I will say he potentially is the most fun.  He also is the one I find least reliant on action skills for, and not because he's good at dealing and taking damage (because he's definitely not great at it), but because since you really can't predict what you'll get unless you study and craft the battlefield correctly, you might get something which hinders more than helps.

Characters this time around are fairly interactive, though I do have a problem with how dialogue is triggered in multiplayer.  Sometimes your character will give their witty response and sometimes it will be a partner, and it all depends on who reaches the arbitrary spot in the sand first, turns in a quest, or starts a quest.  While it's fun to have that difference in interaction I would rather have my character be the only one who responds on my screen, my friend's character on theirs, etc.  It is nice to get a taste of other characters, but man oh man sometimes I really hate the idea I'll have to go through an entire game solo just to get a few words.  I mean I will play it again, but I'll most likely do it with a friend and so I'll probably get some of the same missed dialogue.  And the dialogue is good and funny enough that this is an actual complaint for me, with Claptrap obviously having the most fun of them all.  And all of the characters have really different personalities which show through this as Nisha the Lawbringer will respond to things which may hurt with excitement, Wilhelm is extremely blunt and drone sounding as he gets upgraded with cybernetic parts, Athena is all business all the time, and Claptrap is...well... Claptrap.  What is fun is how the characters also react to one another while playing multiplayer, such as Nisha telling Claptrap how she'll murder his robot family if he screws up or how she hates him more than kittens, and how Athena and Wilhelm with appreciate one another as they use action skills as well.  However the characters don't feel as...Borderlandsy as the BL2 characters, and I mean this in extension to the side NPC's as well.  Sure Moxxie is there, and her role is expanded, but it just feels like there could have been more.  Janey Springs the hot for Athena rummage dealer and Mr. Grind owner feels a bit flat, though Nurse Nina is plenty of fun.  I wouldn't say the characters are bad, but much like the rest of the game sort of feel like expansion characters, which leads me to another problem.

The game feels like overglorified DLC.  Sorry, but it's true.  I couldn't help but think that the game felt small and more like an expansion with how the lands all sort of feel the same (aside from a few), and how the story just doesn't have the same bravado.  Yes, it has new movement mechanics, yes it does tell a very different story, yes the characters are very different than the ones who came before, but it still sort of feels like DLC in some ways.  I mean if it were a DLC it would be a massive DLC, but it just doesn't feel like a 60 dollar game.  Maybe a 40 dollar game?  And this feeling is compounded with the glitches present.  I've already detailed a few of them, but the worst of them happened to me and a friend in where we literally lost all of our Badass Ranks, aesthetics, and even a few items.  Gone.  FOREVER.  Including ones you can only get through quests and badass upgrades.  Which means that to get them again I'd need a whole new character of the same exact class starting from the bottom to get them all back.  Gearbox was understanding (read: well aware of this complaint) and gifted me ten Golden Keys for my trouble.  While nice, they wouldn't return some stuff to me because they couldn't ensure I actually had the gear before, despite some of it being quest and game end specific.  This infuriated the hell out of me and pretty much had me contemplating returning it for Bayonetta 2 (which is still tempting), but I decided to just let it go and keep having fun.


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Before I forget: I was told saving your characters to your hardrive instead of the cloud for the 360 was the best way to ensure this doesn't happen.
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I could not believe how pissed off I was with it, because I ended up with really crappy looks and colors (yes, ALL costumes were gone) and some of my weapons that I worked hard for were just poofed.  It would take a bigger man to make a stand and put away the game, but it really is so much fun I was able to work past it.  So let me give a quick point review in the Good/Okay/Bad spectrum.

Graphics: GOOD
Nothing mindblowing.  Same system and graphics used in BL2.  Some of the character designs are pretty good, like Moxxie's mechanic outfit.  Some of the faces were weird in the cinematics though.  The graphics still emphasize the fun while allowing expression and touching moments. 

Sound: GOOD
Aside from having to turn back the music volume so I could hear the damned game, everything was spot on.  Guns sounded satisfying, explosions were joyful, the voices were beyond hilarious (go do the Billabong quest in Crisis Scar for my favorite moment of voice acting in the entire game)

Playstyle: OKAY
Same as BL2, and while that's not bad, I wouldn't say it's great.  I found I couldn't use sniper rifles as much due to the new mechanics, and while that's definitely a positive the game still didn't feel any tighter as other shooters.  

Variety: GOOD
Guns and aesthetics are plentiful and while they're all just recolors they are still a lot of fun.  Well, heads are clearly the most different.  And double clearly Claptrap gets the most fun out of this, from looking like a train to looking like a trashcan.

Story: OKAY
It's nothing to write home about.  It's not as grandiose as BL2 despite having similar scope in what it's trying to tell, and since you don't have Handsome Jack being the magnificent jerkoff who calls you up to let you know he's naming his diamond encrusted horse "Butt Stallion" in your honor it loses a little of the fun and depth that BL2's second half had.  Following Jack around and watching him become a villain could've been handled better for me in terms of understanding because without spoiling too much, it just feels like he wants to be a villain rather than is forced into too many choices of becoming one.  The idea behind the game is how desperation changes a man, but aside from a few points, Jack didn't seem all that desperate in most of his decisions.  The story is one of the weakest points of the game.

Stability: BAD
Glitchstorm city all up in this game.

Replay Value: GOOD
Let's not mince words, BLTPS is fun for more than one playthrough given how every character plays differently and True Vault Hunter Mode adds to the game in fun and challenging ways.  And playing with friends is always great.

So overall I'd say this is a good game.  Duels can be tons of fun unless you're robo punch Wilhelm who loses his robo punch simply accepting a duel, and Claptrap blew up into a million pieces with one shotgun blast from my Nisha in the most humorous of victories.  The game is a lot of fun with friends or solo, and there is a lot there to offer.  If you disliked previous Borderlands this isn't for you, if you're looking for an escalation of the series past BL2 you will probably be a little disappointed despite the new features, and if you think looting like a loon and don't like being easily entertained with bright colors then you definitely will dislike this game.

There is one last thing I'd like to add which I felt deserved it's own little tidbit: The Boganella.  There is a quest chain where you basically have to rescue someone's sister and the reward is a shotgun named The Boganella.  Truly this is the gem of a game which wears the crown of vulgarity.  If you're from America you're familiar with the term "Redneck," and a "Bogan" is basically the Australian version of it, meaning the Boganella is a female Australian redneck.  And boy does it show.  The gun is mouthy as heck with how it spouts out vulgarity and profanity with everything you do.  "F****** stick it in me!" it'll cry when you reload it, "F*** in the c**t and the ****and the f*****n's s*** p****!" it sometimes shouts when you just shoot the shotgun "See ya around, you f****** f***," when you switch away, and "Suck my lady d**k, you ganger!" when you kill things regardless of if the shotgun did it or not so long as you hold it.  And the Boganella says them loud.  I heard it clear across the virtual room when playing with a friend and it is ALWAYS entertaining.  I actually waited for a few upgrades before it became undeniable the Boganella was no longer useful before I finally replaced her, and it was a sad time.  I really wish that was a legendary or something which you can get at a higher level, though it would've reduced how much time I actually got to enjoy the Boganella.  So if Davis Pickle sends you on a quest to go save his sister, screw the moon or whoever it is who needs your help and go save the lady!  You will NOT regret it.  I would say this is the crown jewel of the entire Pre-Sequel.

And in case the Boganella didn't make the point, everybody on Elpis is from Australia.

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